"addy - i'm going to think of you every time i see mittens"

on 21.jan.2009, i got to see my all time favorite band anberlin play a show at first avenue. it was pretty effing epic. i won't even lie, the whole show is a bit of a blur, probably because i waited too long to blog, or maybe because my head is still spinning from getting to meet stephen christian. either way, the most important thing that happened i remembered:

i went back to to loading door after the show, and got to meet anberlin. i charmed stephen into a 30 minute conversation on a lot of stuff like our love of ee cummings, their tour so far, their growing fanbase in minnesota, and how he spent the better part of the past year and some months writing a book. it was FREEZING cold outside, and he kept shoving his hands in his pockets, and i suggested they head on the bus for warmth, and stephen said "no! i like talking to you, addy!" and then i offered him my mittens. he was reluctant to take them at first and i told him if he didn't i'd be offended, and then he told me about how he's never owned a pair of mittens. "i grew up in florida, and i live in california... i don't even think they sell mittens in california! addy - i'm going to think of you every time i see mittens." it warmed my heart. which conpensated for my freezing hands. and then i wanted to take a picture of him for my photography project, and he said he'd only let me take the picture if i would take one with him first. how charming. and wonderful. i would be perfectly content living the rest of my life like this.

i found God on the corner of 1st and [7th Street] - The Fray @ First Avenue

last night was possibly one of the best nights of my life.

The Fray, quite possibly my FAVOURITE band ever, like competing with Anberlin for first place on my top 10 of all time list played a sold out show at First Avenue last night (8.jan.2009).

random fact: both of these bands have/will be playing First Avenue this month. Anberlin is on the 21st. and yes, i plan on being there!

it was a great day. i got to meet the gentlemen of the Fray, by using my higher brain functions and lucking out by knowing the guy that was working the loading door. i got to talk to dave, isaac, ben and joe for like an hour and a half, and they are WONDERFUL people. then they went off to their meet and greet, and i went off to sell some merch for them.

before the show even started, we sold about 2,700 dollars in merch. there were a lot of screaming girls. i believe one girl might have said "OMG, WHAT IF ISAAC TOUCHED THIS SHIRT?!?!" and proceeded to hold it up to her face and jump around.

as for the show-
Vedera opened and was AMAZING. they are a great band, i highly reccommend checking them out. they got great energy from the crowd, they started rocking out right away, even if they didn't know the words, and when they announced they were about to play their last song there was a chant of "one more song!" that broke out. it was a sight to behold.

the Fray's set up was chaotic beauty. lamps everywhichwhere in every imaginable shape and size. there was even a chandelier and 3 or 4 other hanging lights. and they all lit up. they played mostly songs from "how to save a life", plus the single "you found me" from the album due to release on 3.feb.2009. the songs i remember they played (being the dork i am knowing all the words) were:
she is
over my head (cable car)
all at once
look after you
hundred
vienna
and last, but not least
you found me

not to mention the 3 song encore. which i was (shamefully) strung out on hearing "you found me" live, and selling t-shirts crazily to notice.

Isaac announced that it was his dad's birthday, and asked if the crowd wanted to sing happy birthday to him. a girl in the front row even gave him her phone to call. he said "you're not going to stalk my dad now, are you?" and called his dad. they had a conversation that if i remember correctly went like this:

isaac: hi pops
mr.slade: isaac? how are you?
isaac: i'm good-- i'm at your birthday party!
mr.slade: (laughs) who's phone are you calling from, i didn't recognize the number.
isaac: oh... i borrowed one from a... friend. hey dad, hold on i want you to hear something...

and the audience proceeded in a beautiful chorus of "happy birthday, isaac's dad."

watching the crowd is so amazing. if you ever get the chance to just stand in the back of the room and take it all in, i'd do it. there are so many different people who are all doing the same thing in the same place because they have this one thing in common, and it's a life changing sight.

basically it was the best New Year's gift. ever.

i can't explain in words how much hearing the song "you found me" live meant to me. ever since i heard the song in November i thought "oh my god, these people have been reading my journal." that song is every single heartbreak and letdown you will ever experience in life, combined with struggling with what you believe in. because you can have such a solid foundation in faith, and yet when you need it to help pull you through the most, it's nowhere to be found-- and you are left thinking that terrible things happen to good people, at no claim of their own.

which is why last night, i found God on the corner of 1st and [7th Street].


I found God on the corner of first and Amistad
Where the west was all but won
All alone, smoking his last cigarette
I Said where you been, he said ask anything
Where were you?
When everything was falling apart
All my days were spent by the telephone
It never rang
And all I needed was a call
That never came
To the corner of first and Amistad

Lost and insecure
You found me, you found me
Lying on the floor
Surrounded, surrounded
Why’d you have to wait?
Where were you? Where were you?
Just a little late
You found me, you found me

In the end everyone ends up alone
Losing her, the only one who’s ever known
Who I am, who I’m not, who I want to be
No way to know how long she will be next to me

Lost and insecure
You found me, you found me
Lying on the floor
Surrounded, surrounded
Why’d you have to wait?
Where were you, where were you?
Just a little late
You found me, you found me

Early morning, City breaks
I’ve been calling for years and years and years and years
And you never left me no messages
You never send me no letters
You got some kind of nerve, taking all I want

Lost and insecure
You found me, you found me
Lying on the floor
Where were you where were you

Lost and insecure
You found me, you found me
Lying on the floor
Surrounded, surrounded
Why’d you have to wait?
Where were you, where were you?
Just a little late
You found me, you found me

Why’d you have to wait?
To find me, to find me

[you found me | the fray]

<3

apologies

i HATE apologies.

if you want a surefire way to piss me off for at least a week, say "i'm sorry." i promise you, it will work.

the words "i'm sorry" are unacceptable. if you are truly apologetic, you will manifest your sorrow in change. you will try and prevent whatever it was from reoccurring.

the only sorry i will ever accept is in the song "birthday" by quietdrive.
[i'm sorry i forgot your birthday, i'm sorry cause i was shitfaced...]
classic.

and as i friend of mine pointed out to me today, "i'm sorry" is a weapon to be used against you. like when it turns into "i'm sorry you feel that way."
well, screw you, too. sounds like a personal problem.

and that is that.

new year, new blog.

i've been inspired by one of my best friends to start a new blog for a new year.

i won't even deny it, i am a bit of a blog whore. i have [had] 3 in the past 3 years - livejornal, the one on the QD website and wordpress. most recently wordpress. i found i was writing in it more for the sake of people who were reading it rather than for the sake of blogging, and so i refused to update it once the audience wasn't paying attention anymore. [not that there was any objection from said audience].

so in honor of the new year/ new blog, a real first post.
plus a cheat post to commerate my new year's resolution:



1/1/09 at 11:11 AM.
2008 was a long year.
a very long, very hard year, and at the same time, i am and will be eternally grateful for it.

i was blessed to have met some of the most wonderful people who have helped me get through some of the toughest times i've faced so far in my life. despite the circumstance under which i met some or all of these individuals, it was worth going through to end up where i am now.

i experienced the loss of one of my best friends who took his own life. the effect was devastating. i've lost both my grandparents and some aunts and uncles in my life, but i can honestly say i wasn't old enough to understand what a blow death was until daniel's happened. even though the blow was crippling, it has made me stronger, wiser, and more humble.

i learned so much about myself. i haven't figured myself out 100%, but i have enough to know what it is i value and what i don't value. some of these realizations have cost me some friendships, but as the saying goes, when one door closes, another window opens. i have learned that i do not place as much trust in people as i used to, and it is making my life easier. i am no longer slow to anger, and it is making my life more difficult.

i've come to terms with the hand that the universe has dealt me. i accept that any shortcomings are due to my lack of preparation and the achievements are due to my persistence. i know that what i produce is in my control, and the barricades along the way will only serve as such for as long as i see them as a hindrance.


this year, my resolution is to let the past be the past.
"For last year's words belong to last year's language, and next year's words await another voice."
-T.S. Eliot

and because this is one resolution that can be applicable daily - not [only] yearly.

and that is true.

happy 2009!