if you don't laugh, you cry.

i'm not a bad person.

i have to keep saying that aloud every once in a while to remind myself that it's true. because regardless of what i know, what i am aware of, and what i have (and will) experience, i am somehow tricked into thinking otherwise. all the time.

i realize when i am being mistreated. i confront it. i do not and will not tolerate being set aside like a broken and outgrown toy. i am a person. a friend. NOT a toy. i will not let myself be disregarded in such a manner. i will NOT be cast off. i will discuss, like an adult, and cut all ties if need be. but i won't let your number take up space in my phone book, i won't be a cute addition to your list of facebook "friends", or a blog's worth of stolen quotes.

i understand when i am being accused. there is a difference in accusal and confrontation. it's not worth the internet screaming matches, we're all too old for that.

i am aware when i am being ignored. i don't care what your excuses are and what circumstances changed you. you are responsible for your relationships with other individuals. there is not a pardon for conscious ignorance. and i will not meet you half way in a situation you have ruptured. if you break it, you fix it. i won't help you pick up the pieces, but i will hold the mended plate. because i have done my part. i don't believe there is any power in the universe that would disagree with that.

i'm just so tired of being made to feel that i am doing wrong by not allowing myself to be inconvenienced, ill-used and ignored. i am worth more than that.